<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Kissing like Fools by therustykage</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27863270">Kissing like Fools</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/therustykage/pseuds/therustykage'>therustykage</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Psycho and the Assassin [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Borderlands (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>...but the Little Man has a plan, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BL2 Universe, Blow Jobs, Developing Friendships, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Male Zer0, Rare Pairings, Rough Sex, Sexual Content, Size Kink, Some angst, the masks come off</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 23:48:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,218</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27863270</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/therustykage/pseuds/therustykage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Zer0 calls on Krieg to hang out he remembers something the assassin said to him, "Next time we hook up / You better be ready to / Kiss me like a fool."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Krieg &amp; Zer0 (Borderlands), Krieg/Zer0 (Borderlands)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Psycho and the Assassin [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1844674</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Kissing like Fools</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my fourth installment to the Psycho/Assassin series. Takes place during BL2. </p><p>Ack! I'm nervous about posting this one. I decided to reveal a lot more of my headcanon than I anticipated.</p><p>Also, I always imagined that there had to be some kind of first interactions with Tannis between Krieg and her. I explored that just a little bit.</p><p>Had A LOT of fun with this lulz! I hope you do too!<br/>Fanart gifted by Cellynoodle! :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>xx</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>xx</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>'Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.'</em>
</p><p>
  <em>– Lao Tzu</em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>xx</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>xx</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>We finished delivering a message at the Crimson Raider HQ, just minding our own business, when Dr. Tannis caught us coming down the stairs on our way out.</em>
</p><p>"Hey you – vault hunter," said the petite woman with a pair of welding goggles nestled atop a pixie cut of dark brown hair. She stood before a waist-high table with a couple of microscopes on it, a makeshift laboratory set in the middle of the room surrounded by bunk beds, equipment lockers, and a double row of washing machines.</p><p>
  <em>For a moment, we hesitated and stood at the bottom of the stairs on the first floor, casting a vacant look of uncertainty at her.</em>
</p><p>"I believe you and your extensive muscles – with a set of abs that I am <em>not</em> admiring – will do just fine." The woman said and added as an afterthought, "And, no, this is not me flirting with you."</p><p>
  <em>"Yeah, I'm pretty sure she's talking to us, man. Go find out what she wants," I assured my psycho side who controlled everything physically about us. He gave the doctor in question a dubious grunt of acknowledgment.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She gazed at us blankly before she scoffed. </em>
</p><p>"Oh, right. You do not communicate beyond the average idiolect that plagues the psychos of Pandora. So I suppose waiting for a decent reply would be silly of me," she prattled. "I require some assistance in collecting two boxes filled with samples that I would like brought to this table for my research. Can you do that? Just nod once for 'yes' or swing your head for 'no'. However, I must warn that if you say 'no' I may start to scream <em>very</em> loudly."</p><p>
  <em>Even if we cannot decide whether we trust Dr. Patricia Tannis or not, I encouraged we nod right away, always willing to help a lady out. She was a Crimson Raider, after all, supposed to be one of the good guys. These people welcomed us into their fold gave us real purpose. Being of assistance was the least we could do, or so I thought. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I explained this to the big guy. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Yet, trust is a difficult thing for us. I cannot shake the nagging kind of feeling that if left alone with Dr. Tannis, that we might become her lab rat or something. The woman was as smart as a whip when it came to her studies, so I hear, but she scares us a little with her mad scientist-like predilections. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The unnerving part is she always seems to know more than she is letting on. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>People like that we tend to keep our distance from, and with good reason.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I do not remember all of what happened to us, most of it is repressed, but I do know it took place in a laboratory, and I… was the rat. Pfft! Who am I kidding? Maybe I'm still the rat, ya know, because here I am, trapped in a cage surrounded by rage and madness wondering if I'll ever get out.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>An involuntary growl rumbled out of our throat just thinking about it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dr. Tannis gave us a strange look. "Hmm, I will take that offensive sound you just made as your way of expressing positive gesticulation. Follow me and I will show you what I need your brawny strength for," she said and headed for the main door of the headquarters, which she unlatched and opened. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She wandered outside.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>With a shrug, we followed the woman dressed in a tanned leather jacket that fluttered around her legs as she walked. She led us to a small enclave in front of the command centre, surrounded by old buildings and a few civilians. To the right was a stack of newly delivered boxes, which she gestured towards with her pale hand.</em>
</p><p>"I do not need all of this junk, only the two boxes labelled 'samples' are what I require. If you could fetch them and bring them inside I would be forever grateful," the doctor alleged, placing her hands on her hips, "That is all."</p><p>
  <em>By now, I was used to her impatient tone and body language so I took no offense. She seemed uncomfortable talking to us, but she seemed that way with everybody, to be honest. Besides, the boxes were not that big and did not appear to be that heavy. We picked one up. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Oof! What the—"</em>
</p><p>"BLOOD SOAKED MEAT MOUNTAINS!"</p><p>
  <em>"Now you're just letting your imagination get the better of you. But, you have a point, what the heck are we carrying?" The box was much heavier than it looked. Still, it was nothing for a strong guy like us.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We lugged the thing inside and set it on the table with the microscopes as instructed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dr. Tannis trailed in behind me and stationed herself between the rows of washing machines. I could feel her eyes studying us. It made me feel uneasy. The mad side of me whimpered in total fear, which was so unlike him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We cast a cool gaze at her.</em>
</p><p>"It's an abundantly curious thing," she began, "you speak like a common psycho but you certainly don't act like one – unless in caught up in the grisly disposal of bandits, I hear. I wish you could tell me why most of Pandora's psychos rant about such vapid things like meat and blood, death, nauseating bodily functions, and their estranged mothers, or is it all just nonsensical gibberish? What drives these common speech patterns?"</p><p>
  <em>Indeed. Why? I asked myself the same questions all the damn time! Your guess is as good as mine, lady.</em>
</p><p>"Clearly, there is something that sets you apart from them." She shrugged and sighed. "I do not expect you to be able to answer that. But, I would love to unravel the obscurity of Hyperion's escapee."</p><p>
  <em>Behind the mask, our left eye widened.</em>
</p><p>"Oh! Do not be so surprised, Krieg. Before I let any of you vault hunters set foot in Sanctuary, I did my homework. Oh, yes. I know… <em>things</em>. Things that might even make your head spin. No pun intended. But you… <em>you</em> are still very much a mystery." Tannis folded her arms across her chest while tapping her chin in thought with a finger. "You are a sentient psycho with a will of his own embroiled with a thirst for revenge as I see it – which is fantastic! Use that pustule anger to destroy Jack."</p><p>
  <em>We remained deafeningly quiet.</em>
</p><p>The doctor continued. "Either way, the offer is on the table. Perhaps one day we could ponder some things together."</p><p><em>Oh man, I knew it. She wants to turn us into a lab rat! The meat man suddenly howled like an injured animal,</em> "Nnn-NEEEEEDLES!"</p><p>
  <em>He sounded petrified about what Dr. Tannis said and before I knew what was happening, we were back outside of the building grabbing the last heavy box. We dropped the thing on the table with a bang and fled the building like our backside was on fire. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I heard a feeble 'thank you', called out to us before we stumbled back out onto the street. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>We did not look back. I guess the sooner we got out of there the sooner Dr. Tannis would lose interest in analyzing us.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Well, that was kind of dramatic," I said. Even though my first instinct was to flee, something I could not put my finger on was bothering me. "I dunno… what… what if that woman could help us? Maybe she's not a bad guy," I suggested to my other half, but he shut it down faster than you can say 'meat bicycle'.</em>
</p><p>"Shut up! Shut up! Or I'll grind you through the wringer!" <em>My gravelly-voiced, blood-loving counterpart snarled at me.</em></p><p>
  <em>Just then, a few people loitering around the area in front of the command centre glanced over at us sharply. One guy stopped short, even backed up a few steps, and ran off the other way screaming about how Jack is going to kill us all. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I sighed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Geez, ok. I get it. The tiny cute doctor woman scares you: a raving pile of muscles – half to death. I dunno. It was just a thought. Stop spazzing out." Man, what was his problem? When he acted like this, I kind of got the impression there was more to his freaking out than he was letting on, as if I was being kept in the dark about something important. I swear he has been acting up a lot more since we joined the Crimson Raiders.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It kinda pisses me off, ya know.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Gripped in a tight fist of frustration, the two of us both startled when our ECHO device announced an incoming call. As soon as we realized who was calling us, our immediate tension dissolved into a heaping pile of goo. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Now, my other side was chortling with boyish giddiness.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was Zer0.</em>
</p><p>"Are you busy, friend?" he asked. "I am freakin' bored as hell. / Thought we could hang out."</p><p>
  <em>Our heavy boots hit the cracked concrete as we strolled towards the town square surrounded by park benches, putting space between the headquarters and us. With a glance around to make sure no one was close enough to overhear, the bespoken side of me answered like a high school boy with a crush. </em>
</p><p>"Never busy for the blue-knifed killer…"</p><p>
  <em>I felt like rolling my eyes. One second this guy is an angry psychotic meat-seeking lunatic and the next… a teddy bear with a soulful glass eye filled with soft squishy fluff. There were only two people in existence capable of this magical transition, Maya or Zer0 – and don't get me wrong, I'm thankful for it.</em>
</p><p>"Cool. You wanna <em>kill</em> some stuff?" Zer0 spoke in code, keeping our friends with benefits situation a secret.</p><p>
  <em>"Oh, man. You couldn't have called at a better time, Zer0. I really need to hear a friendly voice right now. I'm about to lose my shit on this idiot!" I bemoaned even though I know Zer0 could not hear my voice. "Should we bring anything? Food. Drink. A couple of hand grenades…?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I sighed bitterly. Just once, I would like to be the one to have a real conversation with Zer0. Man… there is so much I want to tell him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Unfortunately, for now, this will have to do—</em>
</p><p>"DO POOP TRAINS DRIVE THEMSELVES?!"</p><p>"Hee hee. That sounds like a 'yes'. Come find me," Zer0 said and disconnected from the call.</p><p>
  <em>We exhaled loudly and regained our bearings. I was grinning now. Thinking about Zer0 set my soul at ease and kinda made me horny all at once.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Well, this day has just improved by leaps and bounds," I offered as we turned away from the main square and set a course for the ground apartments near Marcus's gun shop. "The silver lining to being left out of today's mission. See," I said to my other half. "It's not so bad."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>At first, we were salty – more like he was salty – about not going on today's side mission with the rest of the vault hunters. Turns out the mission did not require all of us, and we have been doing so much extra work that it was time to let the others handle a few jobs.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>This would also explain why Zer0 is at home and bored out of his mind.</em>
</p><p><em>Gaige said something to us like, </em>''You and Zer0 can't have all the fun! Gotta leave some red panties for us to find, too. You dweebs!"</p><p>
  <em>I laughed at that because about a week ago, Zer0 and I received a mission to track down some rare treasure. This treasure turned out to be Lilith's red-hot undergarments that Commander Roland himself lost, but was picked up and admired lewdly by various bandits all over Pandora. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The young mecromancer made a valid point. Zer0 and I have been monopolizing on the extra jobs and now it was time to sit one out.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Hey, you think we'll get to watch more of that animated dark comedy on the ECHOnet? Err… I forget the name of it. Like seriously, I never would have pegged Zer0 to be into something wacky like that, would you? He seemed like such a serious guy when we first met him, but he's full of quirks."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The big guy was ignoring me. Pft! Whatever.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It's exciting to know that the assassin likes a good joke from time to time, even if the show involves a lot of political comedic satire and people getting dismembered. But when I hear him laugh… it does crazy things to me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Just then, the meat man started giggling like an unhinged loon.</em>
</p><p>"We're gonna lip tussle!" he exclaimed way more loudly than he should.</p><p>
  <em>A blonde woman wearing an earflap cap walked past us, snickering at our outburst. And, just like the weirdo that we are, we stopped dead in our tracks in the middle of the street. The impact from that statement smacked us both upside the head like a two-by-four.</em>
</p><p><em>"Oh, that's right," I murmured. "The last time we were with the assassin he told us, '</em>Next time we hook up / You better be ready to / Kiss me like a fool.'"</p><p>
  <em>The memory was fresh enough that I can still feel Zer0's lips brushing across our ear like a fine silk scarf, teasing us with his sultry voice. That time we spent together in the Highlands Outwash with him was – whoa. It was the hottest encounter we had with him yet.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Oh man, just thinking about that day makes my blood run hot. Or, should I say <span class="u">our</span> blood?" I corrected sarcastically. "Crazy seemed to like it, too."</em>
</p><p>*a threatening growl* "Your face is CRAZY!"</p><p>
  <em>"Wait. So… you're calling yourself crazy. I don't get you." I remarked, striking below the belt. It would take the meathead a little longer to figure it out, and… I knew that. Good. I wanted to lash out at him for his bullshit earlier. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>However…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That urge was short-lived. Deep down, I am more of a lover than a fighter. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sigh. I really shouldn't rattle his cage like that because I am grateful that we are both into Zer0, imagine if it were one-sided? On second thought, scratch that. I can't even go there. When I am with him, doing a job together, or getting down and dirty, feeling depressed is the farthest thing from my mind.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His friendship is a gift. Like Maya, he makes me want to be a better man – get over my fears, learn to trust again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"All right, fine," I said to the other half of my shattered mind. "I'm not being fair. I took a cheap shot at you, but you make it so easy. Look, for the sake of having a pleasant time with Zer0 let's you and me agree to be on our best behaviour, cool?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He just grumbled, but at least I got an acknowledgment, which was good enough for me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And speaking of getting over fears…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I offered a truce. "So… this kiss, I know you want it as much as I do… even if it terrifies us. He's going to find out the truth eventually. We can't hide from him forever, at least, I don't want to. We can do this. I have an idea. I think Zer0 will like it, too. Are you willing to hear me out?"</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>*****</strong>
</p><p>"Speaketh, little man…" Krieg droned in a low threatening tone.</p><p>On days they were not out murdering bandits, lost in the glorious distraction of blood spilling and carnage, the voice in his head was chattier than ever. He was good at being able to tune it out – reluctant to concede to his constant muttering about days of old or how he needed to behave differently, or even suggesting foolish things like hearing the Mad Lady out.</p><p>The little man did <em>not</em> understand what kind of worms would come out of that festering bloated can.</p><p>For once, however, Krieg was quite interested in what the little man was telling him, especially when it came to their mutual adoration for one certain ninja monkey.</p><p>He stared up at the sky still standing sentinel in the street and took note of the hazy yellowing light as nighttime began to spread across the blue like an incoming tide. Soon the stars would dot the night sky like shiny bullet holes blasted into the cosmos.</p><p>"It's perfect!" he ranted.</p><p><em>Right…? I thought you might like that. </em>The voice reassured and groaned. <em>Man, I can't believe how nervous I am. Like, I actually have butterflies, me… a grown-ass man. It's been a long time since I kissed anyone. For you, it'll be a first, right. I promise that once you do it you'll just want to keep doing it.</em></p><p>Being irrational was nothing new to Krieg. It may not appear that way to most people, but he was a sensitive guy both inside and out. Often the train of reason was not as loud-mouthed as the train that distorted everything, made him question what people thought about him. It was not a fear of kissing the assassin, but of taking off the mask – of the judgement that might follow.</p><p>What if Zer0 didn't like him anymore after he took it off…?</p><p>Mulling over his thoughts, he continued to walk, wandering past Pierce Station and down a narrow street, between the gritty buildings looming on either side. A few people milled around muttering things amongst themselves, but they mostly left him alone.</p><p>However, one person gasped and admired the fact that he was a vault hunter.</p><p>That was kind of awesome. He knew that to these people, vault hunters equaled salvation. It meant the end to Jack's tyranny and an odd part of him felt satisfied to be a part of that.</p><p>Krieg turned into a narrow grungy alleyway divided by a chain-link fence with a dumpster up against the wall. He went through the gate that led him further to a small, enclosed space. It brought him before two apartment doors nearly hidden away from the street.</p><p>The door on the right was Zer0's place.</p><p>He raised his knuckles to rap on the dark metal door but stopped. For fun, they created a Morse code of their names for when they visited each other. He almost knocked without using it.</p><p>But, how did it go again…?</p><p>The little man in his head groaned but supplied the cipher to him patiently. He was always so much better at puzzles and numbers than he was.</p><p>Feeling jubilant, Krieg knocked  <strong>-- . .- -</strong></p><p><em>Dude. Really? That's not what I just showed you. </em>The voice sighed in defeat.</p><p>Zer0 opened the door and warmed up the shadowy entrance with a red digital smile <strong>:D</strong> glowing in front of his long black visor.</p><p>"Meat," he mused and stepped aside to let the psycho vault hunter into his place, "Come in."</p><p>As Krieg wandered into the small apartment, the once-over he gave Zer0 was anything but subtle.</p><p>He eyed him intensely from head to toe while a delightfully evil gurgle rumbled in his throat.</p><p>Zer0 was not wearing the top half of his armoured sneaking suit, gloves, or any of his armaments. There were no knee guards or boots on his feet for that matter. He simply wore a black fitted, long-sleeved shirt along with his regular dark grey pants and black helmet. Krieg lowered his gaze to the man's black socks and rumbled with more deviance.</p><p>"You're a treat!" he said at full volume. Never before had he come to Zer0's place to find him like this, ready to do everything but fight.</p><p>Zer0 closed the door and faced his hulking friend who was about two inches shorter than he was. With faint movements of his scuffed-up helmet, he let his sight take in the half-naked psycho in his tawny coloured pants and air-filtering mask, never bored of looking at Krieg's fantastic body. Admiring what he saw too, he reached out and drew a finger across his pectoral muscle.</p><p>"And yet… that is what / You are to me, my strong friend. / Opposites attract?" The assassin replied in earnest.</p><p>The enchanting way Zer0 touched him and spoke to him ignited thoughts about kissing him again. Krieg took a quick inhale of breath. For him, it was the elephant in the room. It made him groan with bashfulness and self-torment.</p><p>However, it seemed the assassin had something else on his mind first.</p><p>"I hope I did not / Interrupt you from something / I'm glad you are here," Zer0 said and forwent citing another haiku, drawing his finger away from Krieg's sculpted chest. "I do not want you to assume I call on you solely for intimate endeavors. I enjoy your company… even when we are not killing stuff. You know that, right?"</p><p>Zer0 realized when he called on Krieg because he was 'bored as hell' that it might have sounded a little covetous. Without a doubt, their sexual prowess was akin to the raw savage highs he felt amidst the combat, but it was not always about that.</p><p>Lately, whenever he felt a little too alone on this strange alien planet, he found himself thinking about his friend with dual personalities, wondering what kind of fun fresh hell they could unleash together. Of course, afterward, it was difficult not to daydream about all the tantalizing things Krieg does to him, especially since their last get-together in the Outwash.</p><p>It was hard to ignore. The dynamics of their relationship changed after that day, a day of unveiling and unforgettable sex. He let Krieg touch his hair. He let him shove his cock down his throat. He let him rough-handle him as he had never let anyone rough-handle him before.</p><p>It was wanton. Reckless. And Zer0 loved nothing better.</p><p>Zer0 was well aware that between them he could keep the lines of communication open. Their friendship was stronger than ever and it was worth protecting. That is why it felt so important to let Krieg know that the last thing he wanted him to feel was obligated in any way.</p><p>As a vault hunter and a fighter, Krieg was a tank of confidence, but with people, he was awkward and unsure. Zer0 knew he was going through some stuff, but he did not want him to feel that way around him.</p><p>"My fingers aren't in someone's eye sockets right now and… I DON'T CARE!" Krieg replied. He meant every guttural word. Even the voice inside his head agreed. <em>Yeah! What he just said. Man, I get it, Zer0. In this current state, we aren't the best at conversation or expressing feelings, so I get why you might feel the need to say that, but trust me… we are EXACTLY where we want to be.</em></p><p>The assassin smiled <strong>:) </strong></p><p>Underneath Krieg's rugged exterior Zer0 knew a kind soul spoke and he learned that his boorish choice of words usually meant something completely logical.</p><p>"Would you like some tea?" Zer0 offered. "I just boiled water."</p><p>
  <em>Yes, please!</em>
</p><p>Even if he did not care much for the taste of tea, Krieg always accepted it when he came over. He knew it made Zer0 happy and he promised to be on his best behaviour. <em>And…</em> it always seemed to make the little man happy, too. Besides, the hot drink warmed his belly in a good way and it meant he would get to chat with his ninja monkey. Zer0 was patient and he truly listened to what he had to say.</p><p>He adored talking to him.</p><p>"Shower me with your shrivelled plant juice. We'll flay our minds and tickle some chins until we froth at the mouth! HAHAHA!"</p><p>"Yes. I'd like that," Zer0 granted. "Let's chill for a bit / Enjoy some hot tea and talk / Listen to music."</p><p>
  <em>Now, this is more like it! Just hanging out as normal people do – some conversation between comrades… before, you know… we kiss you like a fool. Don't think we forgot, Zer0. It's going to happen. </em>
</p><p>Krieg's eye narrowed at the little man's sarcasm and the flirty laugh that followed the mention of kissing.</p><p>Zer0 wandered over to a small countertop with a portable stove, a sink, and an electric kettle to prepare the tea.</p><p>"Relax. Make yourself at home," he encouraged with a breezy back wave of his gloveless hand.</p><p>As he started to remove his equipment, the psycho glanced around Zer0's small window-less apartment, awash in warm light coming from the single floor lamp situated in the corner of the room. He heard music coming from a radio sitting on a small wooden table. It was not like the calm sleeping music Zer0 gave him on that little music player, but more toe-tapping sounds with a lot of edgy guitar.</p><p>It wasn't loud, but it still filled the room with welcoming energy.</p><p>That was one of the things Krieg enjoyed the most about coming over to Zer0's place. He was always playing music, of some sort, so many varieties of music, too. One time, he even caught Zer0 humming to it when they got together once to work on their gear and the assassin seemed to forget that he was not alone.</p><p>With a grin, Krieg recalled how Zer0 flashed him a blushing emote when he caught him. It was more than charming, he thought.</p><p>The room was a lot tidier than his place was, but it was still as sparse with minimal furnishings. Under his feet, a thin mat covered most of the space and instead of a bed with a frame, Zer0 slept on a rolled out mattress on the floor. At first, Krieg was a little unsure about that. Wondering why anyone would purposely sleep on the floor. However, he found out on previous visits that it was very comfortable and according to Zer0, good for posture.</p><p>The one thing they had in common was the abundance of killing toys. Zer0 kept his favourite equipment arranged on a shelf on the right side of the room. On some pegs above the weaponry, hung all the gear Zer0 was not wearing currently, except for his boots paired together neatly on the floor.</p><p>Krieg eyed everything with interest. He even spotted the Vladof sniper rifle Zer0 recently let him use to demonstrate his sniping skills.</p><p>He set his gear down on the shelf, which included his buzz-axe, the gauntlet, and wrappings on his arms and the holster on his chest. Then, he worked off his boots, placing them next to Zer0's, leaving the tattered ends of his pants to shuffle loosely around his socked feet.</p><p>The psycho shot a glance at Zer0, who had his back to him, pouring hot water into two clear glass coffee mugs.</p><p>The butterflies began to stir.</p><p>Somewhere behind that black faceplate was a pair of lips waiting for him to claim. Perhaps Zer0 had forgotten. Maybe he did not even remember mentioning it in the heat of passion. Maybe… he was getting worked up for nothing.</p><p>Krieg tentatively touched the bottom portion of his mask with his fingertips as he came to grips with himself.</p><p>On most visits, he felt completely at home at Zer0's place. So much so, that ofttimes he was raiding his cupboards for snacks. Sometimes, he even used his shower if he came over directly after a mission.</p><p>They had grown so chill around each other that he could even let one rip, much to the little man's dismay.</p><p>But, right now, all he could think about was this kiss, which spun around his mind like an unrelenting buzzard.</p><p>Krieg swallowed thickly.</p><p>It was so quiet that Zer0 looked over his shoulder wondering if Krieg was still here. By now, the man was usually fussing with the radio or downloading a few episodes of The Origami Killer for them to watch.</p><p>Instead, he found the man staring at him but at the same time, not at all. His dark eye was unfocused, elsewhere, as he ever so slightly touched the psycho mask on his face.</p><p>With a slight tilt of his helmet, Zer0 curiously observed his lost-in-thought friend. The man had something on his mind today and he had a good idea what it was. "What has you so captivated, Krieg?"</p><p>There was a hint of mischief in the assassin's question.</p><p>Of course, Zer0 had not forgotten his request for a kiss and by the manner that Krieg touched his mask, he was mulling over it. Well, it was completely up to him, he thought. If Krieg wanted it, he was going to have to make the first move.</p><p>Krieg blinked and lowered his hand when he realized Zer0 was speaking to him. Feeling flustered, he said nothing. All he gave in reply was a feeble grunt while his hidden face seared hot beneath his mask. When he looked away, he didn't see the <strong>:P</strong> emote projected from Zer0's helmet.</p><p>The assassin returned his attention to the tea.</p><p>Giving his head a small shake, Krieg released a pent up breath. That is when he noticed on the right side of the door, two tattered posters pinned to the wall by at least half a dozen kunai used regularly for target practice.</p><p>One depicted Handsome Jack and the other an advert for Maliwan.</p><p>With a wayward cackle, Krieg discovered two pointy blades sticking out of Jack's poster eyeballs.</p><p>He yanked a couple of sharp blades out of the Maliwan poster. Not having the heart to remove the kunai from Jack's eyes, where they so poetically belonged. Krieg enjoyed playing with these little murder knives whenever he came over and he was content with the distraction.</p><p>Taking a few steps back, he held the blade on his palm with the rounded 'eye' of the knife handle pointed at the target. Krieg bent his arm as Zer0 had shown him a few times before and threw it.</p><p>The knife smacked the wall and clattered to the floor. Krieg scoffed with defeat.</p><p>"Hmm, sounds like too much spin – it's not your buzz-axe," Zer0 noted from the other side of the room while scooping a tea infuser out of a cup. He did not even have to turn around to know what went wrong. "Try again. Breathe in. / Breath out while throwing the blade / Always aim to kill."</p><p>Krieg released an incredulous guffaw. "I am a sandwich filled with agony and death!"</p><p>"I know." Zer0 praised with warm affirmation. "So make the next shot count."</p><p>Okay. He could do this. Dexterity had nothing on him when he wanted to exterminate something until it no longer had a pulse. He was an ace at throwing a buzz-axe into the skulls of hostile bandits, even from a great distance.</p><p>However, Zer0 was right. These little ninja blades were different.</p><p>This time he threw it breathing just how Zer0 told him. The blade embedded into the barrel of the SMG in the Maliwan poster like a dart with a satisfying <em>thunk</em>.</p><p>"Muhahahahaha!"</p><p>"Nice," Zer0 said. "Try a few more."</p><p>Krieg continued his fun, throwing the kunai at the posters until Zer0 announced the tea was ready.</p><p>The assassin held up both cups. "Shall we sit?"</p><p>Krieg nodded and they both took a seat cross-legged in the middle of the room on the matted floor, back to back. They took off their headgear, picked up the hot drink, and sampled the greenish beverage with a noisy slurp.</p><p>"Tell me. What have you been up to?" Zer0 wondered initiating some conversation and over his shoulder, he offered Krieg a piece of his guilty pleasure – a rope of red licorice.</p><p>Krieg happily grabbed the licorice, which has become their hangout snack of choice recently, and recalled a few of his activities throughout the day.</p><p>He did some strength exercises earlier. Then he helped Moxxi's cook fix a freezer that broke down overnight, threatening to spoil a bunch of food. Afterward, the cook fed him lunch for his hard work. Then he went home and took the world's longest and hottest shower to wash off the grease and grime from the repairs. Lastly, he wandered around Sanctuary until a raider asked if he would deliver a handwritten message to Roland. He didn't read the message so he had no idea what it contained.</p><p>He told Zer0 about all those things in his word scramble kind of way.</p><p>"Mindless delivery for the top dog, he saw me with broken eyes!" Krieg shared with a shifty laugh.</p><p>Zer0 shook his head with an amused sigh. "Do not feel bad. Roland <em>still</em> cannot look at me straight either. And it has been over a week since we found those panties. It's kind of endearing though." When Zer0 figured out the rest of what Krieg shared with him, he versed, "A day around here / Means menial tasks and jobs / Some ridiculous."</p><p>The assassin knew all too well the crazy things some people asked of vault hunters.</p><p>Krieg gave a 'hrmph' of agreement and thoughts of those mysterious heavy boxes he carried for Dr. Tannis came to mind. He blurted out, "Mad Lady has scary boxes heavier than a thousand lead salads!"</p><p>Zer0 spluttered on his tea. "Mad Lady...?" he echoed, wondering who in Sanctuary had earned such a moniker.</p><p>"Goggle head."</p><p>"Oh, you mean Patricia Tannis?" The assassin stared quietly into his cup watching the steam curl up intricately for a moment, chewing on the string of licorice. Hmm, the one person that knows the truth about who he really is. "A clever woman / Sometimes out of sorts and charm / But aren't we all, Krieg?"</p><p>Panic spiked through his chest. Krieg did not know why he brought that up. He refrained from bonking himself on the head for it. Grr! Stupid! He was not ready to share why that woman scared him half to death. Not now. Not ever!</p><p>He just wanted to drop the subject like a bandit off a cliff – a <em>very</em> high cliff.</p><p>From the length of Krieg's silence and the sudden stiffness of his back, Zer0 decided not to press the issue about the doctor, even if it did make him curious. He wondered what had transpired between them.</p><p>They sat quietly for a while, listening to the music, munching on licorice, and drinking tea until both their cups had nothing left but dregs on the bottom. When Krieg sighed and rest his head back against him, Zer0 knew that he was no longer worked-up about Dr. Tannis and was more relaxed.</p><p>That is when the assassin petitioned that they both put their helmet and mask back on, so he could take their empty cups away and rinse them out. They did so and Zer0 wandered over to the sink.</p><p>Krieg got to his feet to stretch his legs and watched the assassin go about his business.</p><p>"It's a mixed blessing / Bored and left out of the fight / Lets the bad boys play," Zer0 said mischievously and turned off the tap. "Didn't Maya petition for you to go along, at least?"</p><p>Krieg sighed deeply. "Pretty lady made sad eyes and barked a lonely song," he told him.</p><p>With a lamentable sigh, Zer0 turned around and said in condolence. "That's rough, friend." Just then, a thought came to mind. "You know, how about the next side mission that requires only two vault hunters, the two of you go. I could assist." He offered. "Perhaps, I can accept the mission, then forfeit – hand it off to Maya. That way, you do not have to put yourself on the spot and say something awkward. I know you… you'll overthink it and wuss out."</p><p><em>Harsh, dude. True. But harsh.</em> "Alone with the meat man…?"</p><p>"Sure. Why not…?" The assassin said with conviction and shared another thought. "Think she would see right through that scheme though?"</p><p>Krieg was not sure about that but just talking about Maya made him instantly dissolve into a ball of ridiculous mirth. His cheeks were burning again under his mask at the thought of doing a mission alone with the siren.</p><p>Zer0 scoffed. "Lovesick, idiot," he teased.</p><p>Both of them snickered.</p><p>As Zer0 set the two mugs upside down on a dishtowel to dry on the same table as the radio, Krieg grew silent. Yet, inside, his mind was working and very vocal.</p><p><em>Thanks, man. You are the only one that we can talk to – more like ramble on – about Maya, and you never get all weird about it. I really appreciate it. But, I hope you know that does not make you any less important, Zer0.</em> <em>Do you have any idea how much you mean to us?</em></p><p>"Nnngh! It's an unending calamity!" Krieg hollered abruptly throwing his hands out in an evocative gesture, disrupting the peacefulness of their easy chitchatting. "You make me giddy, too!"</p><p><em>Oh?</em> Beneath Zer0's blacked-out visor, a soft knowing smile spread across his face. His helmet shifted as he glanced over at the psycho standing in the centre of the room and professed, "Difficult it is / To deny what the heart wants / It defies reason."</p><p><em>Yes. You totally get it.</em> And psycho Krieg replied the best way he knew how. "You slice my belly open! Spill the innards! Sooth my burning heart…"</p><p>"Is that so?" the assassin responded in a cunning tone, "Then… why don't you show me."</p><p>Krieg was positive then that Zer0 had not forgotten about the kiss and was now calling him out on it. <em>Dude, I know it's your first kiss but now is not the time to hesitate. You can do this… for both of us.</em></p><p>With a stubborn growl, Krieg stormed over to the corner of the room, stomping over Zer0's bed in complete disregard, and switched off the floor lamp.</p><p>The room instantly disappeared into inky blackness.</p><p>For a moment, the two of them stood very still. Concealed in a space so hauntingly dark one might imagine they could feel its oppressive weight pressing down on them and swimming through their fingers. Only the upbeat sounds of the radio filled the room and possibly the heightened thud of their heartbeats.</p><p>"A most thoughtful plan / Krieg, the romantic psycho / Darkness, consumes us," Zer0 said with evident intrigue.</p><p><em>Guilty as charged. You can call me out on the romantic part anytime…</em> the inner voice shared smugly as Krieg tried not to trip over the bedding on the floor, padding towards the sound of Zer0's voice.</p><p>If turning off the lights made Krieg more comfortable crossing the hurdle of taking off his mask, then Zer0 was all for it. Besides, this could be a rather fun challenge. It would lower inhibitions, they could try out a bunch of stuff they have not done before.</p><p>Without hesitation, Zer0 removed his helmet, which hummed and whirred as he opened it. He carefully set the thing down on the table nearby, blindly rattling the glass mugs together. He stilled.</p><p>When nothing fell off the table, Zer0 blew out a puff of air in relief and took a few steps into the void.</p><p>"There is nothing between us but the night," he murmured.</p><p>"Faceless subjugation," Krieg offered gruffly.</p><p>"Yes. A most worthy conquest," Zer0 agreed his helmetless voice deep and seductive as he hunted for his shy friend in the dark.</p><p>In the small room, it did not take long before hands and fingers collided awkwardly.</p><p>However, the awkward moment vanished the second Krieg discovered one of the assassin's many secrets. On impulse, he reached for Zer0's face, grasping his cheeks between his large hands so he could stare at him in awe.</p><p>"Destroyed by a thousand lonely stars!" he mewled with excitement.</p><p>One small feature stood out even in the dark – the assassin's eyes. Well, only the black slash of a pupil and the iris, which glowed faintly like a pair of tiny tropical oceans.</p><p>The assassin's face betrayed him and reddened under Krieg's scrutiny. "My unveiled bequest / Difficult feature to hide / So… what do you think?" He sounded a bit uncertain, as the psycho's warm hands cupped his face.</p><p><em>What do I think?! </em>The inner Krieg gushed in profound disbelief. <em>I think you just brought the big guy to his knees. Wait. Were you worried about showing this to us? Now, that's insane. Your eyes are beautiful…</em></p><p>Thanks to the little man's outspoken thoughts, Krieg recognized that Zer0 knew all along that even if he turned off the lights he would learn the truth about his eyes. Yet, he still took off his helmet and seemed prepared to do so even with the lights on. To him that meant everything. If the assassin was so willing to share himself with him, why was he being such a pansy boy about everything?</p><p>To hell with it, the world can suck on a railroad spike! Krieg tore off his psycho mask and flung it aside without another thought.</p><p>Then he took the assassin's face between his hands again, searching for his mouth in the dark, and kissed him as if it was his last day on Pandora.</p><p>Zer0's eyes widened.</p><p>Stunned by the intensity of Krieg's crushing kiss he stood ridged and planted to the floor. Part of him was sure that the psycho would find another reason to back out, but to his astonishment, that did not happen.</p><p>So much pent up tension poured out of Krieg that Zer0 could feel it igniting his core. A kiss multiplied by two. He finally reciprocated, finding that his limbs were willing to move again once the aftershock wore off and he kissed back.</p><p>Zer0 closed his eyes. Mmm, Krieg's lips felt so good. So hungry. This is what it felt like to kiss a psycho and not just any psycho either because Krieg was definitely one of a kind. He had waited a long time for this, but it was oh-so-worth-it.</p><p>He heard himself moan deeply.</p><p>Feeling rather victorious, Zer0 wrapped his arms around Krieg's shoulders as the other man wrapped his arms around his chest. Krieg pulled him close against his hot bare skin, rumbling like an old motor.</p><p>Briefly, Krieg let go of the assassin's mouth stealing another peek at those ocean blue eyes and purred with pleasure.</p><p>"Don't you <em>dare</em> stop." The assassin sounded so irked.</p><p>With a wicked laugh, Krieg blindly kissed him again. He wasn't stopping. Nothing could have prepared him for how perfectly awesome this felt. It emboldened him to the point that when Zer0 parted his lips, he hungrily met his tongue with his own.</p><p>This time they both moaned heatedly, hands groping and pawing at each other furiously.</p><p>It felt so good that Krieg thought he might just relish this as much as he relished a good fight. And, that, was saying something. Until now, he didn't know how spine-tingling kissing could be. Plus, kissing someone you adore…</p><p>Mind. Blown.</p><p>No longer dwelling on his fears, Krieg wetly swept his tongue against the assassin's, who tasted of tea and red licorice.</p><p>His mind was jelly.</p><p>He focused only on the sounds of their mouths moving together and the way Zer0's fingers gripped into the back of his bare skull, pressing their mouths together just a little harder.</p><p>It made him ache.</p><p>Krieg slid his hands down Zer0's long, lean back and over his rear end grabbing two greedy handfuls of ass over the jean-like fabric of his pants. He ground himself against him, feeling their mutual hardness rub together like thick rods of steel beneath their clothes.</p><p>In one swift move, Krieg swept his hands underneath Zer0's shirt, urging him to let go of his head and neck ceasing their hungry lip-locking, and pulled it off.</p><p>With a profound sigh, Zer0 felt their naked chests press together and returned his embrace around Krieg's neck. Searching again for warm kisses in the dark. At first, his lips connected with Krieg's chin before sliding up to join with his mouth.</p><p>Snarling like a beast, the psycho collected the slender assassin in his arms again fiercely, hands spread across his unclothed back.</p><p>The kiss they shared was long, deep, and wet.</p><p>Lost in a beautiful fog, it took a moment for Krieg's brain to register something his fingers were all too familiar touching. He tore away from Zer0's mouth suddenly.</p><p>"So many flesh rips," he grumbled.</p><p>At first, Zer0 wasn't sure what Krieg was talking about until he felt the man's fingertips drawing lines across his back.</p><p>"Just old battle scars / Common in our line of work," the assassin said. "Does that surprise you?"</p><p>What surprised Krieg was how many 'battle scars' he found solely on Zer0's back because he did not recall seeing scars on him anywhere else. His overactive imagination began to conjure up all kinds of sordid possibilities. He gnashed his teeth together, angry that someone would hurt him like that.</p><p>And, the assassin wasn't done yet.</p><p>"Here." Zer0 took one of Krieg's hands and guided his index finger slowly down over his left brow ridge, across a closed eye, and along his left cheek. "Feel it? There's one here, too," he said.</p><p>Much to his astonishment, Krieg felt another scar but this one marred the assassin's face. It made him think of his own disfigurement, which was a large part of the reason for turning off the lights. Would the assassin think him more of a monster than he already was when he discovered it?</p><p>At least Zer0 still had his eye.</p><p>"My assailant left / A lasting strike to my face / They're very dead now," Zer0 alleged with cool indifference and added, "Shit happens."</p><p>Cavernous mirth bubbled out of Krieg darkly, pleased to hear that the assassin got revenge on the person that marked him like that. It became more apparent than ever that Zer0 might have more than one reason for wearing a mask of his own. Whether it was to hide his inhuman eyes or the scar on his face or simply to remain anonymous, he could not be sure.</p><p>
  <em>Zer0 we had no idea. You're right. Considering the violent lives we live, it shouldn't come as a surprise. But… it still is, ya know?</em>
</p><p>Once again, Krieg felt humbled as he learned more about the man that hid his identity from the world. Zer0 had met some grisly business in his past just like him.</p><p>"It's fair to say that / You are probably hiding / A wound of your own," the assassin pointed out and spun another poem. "Believe what you will / I bet it makes you look like / A fucking badass."</p><p>Blinking stupidly in the dark, Krieg realized he had never thought of it that way before.</p><p>With a roguish smile concealed in shadows, Zer0 brought his hands to the front of Krieg's pants, fingers blindly fumbling with the belt and then the button. He said wistfully, "If you're good, maybe I'll tell you a story later."</p><p>"Oh, ho!" The psycho loved it when Zer0 told him stories. "A slobbering sleepover…?"</p><p>"Sure, if you don't mind / Sharing my small mattress and / Keeping me warm, Krieg." The assassin hinted at devilishly.</p><p>Zer0 was all about quixotic sensuality and it drove Krieg absolutely wild. His attention felt torn between the lowering <em>click click click</em> of his zipper and his mind turning over the idea of snuggling with the assassin while he told him stories in bed. <em>Gawd!</em></p><p>All Krieg could do was whimper in sweet torture.</p><p>Fully aware of what he was doing, Zer0 smirked at Krieg's torment. He snaked his hands into the man's loosened pants and then his underwear, grabbing the psycho's splendid backside. While he squeezed and sampled his firm rear he mused, "So, would you like that? / And please do not ask me if / Poop trains drive themselves... "</p><p>Briefly, Krieg felt taken-aback. Did the sneaky assassin <em>just</em> read his mind?!</p><p>However, the little man interrupted his thoughts when he started chirping at him. <em>Yo, meathead, snap out of it! Answer the man. Tell him 'we'd love to' or I swear I'll… I'll sing the beer song. I know how much you hate it. Don't think I won't do it.</em></p><p>"Nnnng! We'd hate to!" Krieg promptly shouted, feeling pretty darn good about nailing that and thwarting any attempt of the voice's threat to sing that awful song. <em>Heh, that was pretty darn close! Geez, I wish I could get you to do that all the time…</em></p><p>Zer0 scoffed. He knew what Krieg meant. They spent so much time together in the last while that he had learned that when he used the term 'we' it seemed as if he was trying to copy the personality speaking in his head. Someone the man once told him about who he referred to as the Little Man. It was complicated and Krieg seemed touchy about the subject, but Zer0 was curious to know how they ended up like that.</p><p>Still, knowing that this 'little man' was alert and actively a part of their make-out sessions, turned Zer0 on in such a heated kind of way… he could not even describe it.</p><p>While wondering what kind of person this hidden persona was like, Zer0 pushed Krieg's pants and undergarments down, eager to get him out of his clothes. He palmed the tender flesh between the psycho's legs then over his rock-hard length that flexed the second he touched it.</p><p>"Oh, <em>hello…</em>" the assassin quipped, delighted by the throbbing response of Krieg's thick meaty cock in his hand. He petted him, thumbing over the tip to find it seeping with fluid. "Hmm… why don't we take this over to the bed?"</p><p>"Shed out of your skin first," Krieg replied in a rasping growl.</p><p>Zer0 agreed. "Good idea."</p><p>Removing the rest of their clothing in the darkness was a clumsy endeavour. A thumping sound came from Krieg's direction as he stomped out of his pants, but Zer0 kind of did the same but quieter and with less thumping.</p><p>Neither took off their socks.</p><p>Kneeling and groping in the dark, they located the thick down mattress nearby on the floor. Krieg laid back on it, head on the pillow, as Zer0 crawled over him. Careful not to drop a knee into sensitive body parts as he navigated without sight.</p><p>Krieg could feel the tip of Zer0's arousal brushing along his inner thigh and nudging against his groin as he came closer. The sensation made him throb but not as much as he throbbed when Zer0 leaned in and started pressing his lips over his pectorals and across his collarbone. The assassin was careful to avoid the leather bands around his neck as he drew his hot, wet tongue up along the side of his throat and over a pumping artery.</p><p>The psycho shuddered with a groan.</p><p>Straddling his waist, riveting shivers rippled across his entire body while Zer0 sucked and licked his throat, adding a few tantalizing nibbles. Krieg wrapped his arms around the assassin squeezing him flush against his body. He felt like he was melting against the soft lips moving along the edge of his jaw and Zer0's warm breath fanning across his right ear.</p><p>It was making him dizzy.</p><p>"Don't… freak out," Zer0 said in a hushed voice, his arms and hands resting around Krieg's head. He had the freedom to explore and he needed to know all of it – there was no more hiding.</p><p>Not after, they have come so far.</p><p>Zer0 swept his lips across Krieg's right cheek, pressing a gentle kiss against a prominent nose while he brushed a thumb over kiss-damp lips, outlining the shape of his mouth.</p><p>Krieg flinched and stiffened.</p><p>Right away, Zer0 stopped. "Am I hurting you?" he asked.</p><p>A pause and a low grumble, "No."</p><p>Zer0 resumed, smoothing his palm over his left cheek, his thumb now sweeping over a closed left eye and brow, mapping Krieg's facial structure like a blind man. Zer0 felt strong masculine features, a defined jawline, and scar tissue near his right eye…</p><p>Krieg began to breathe nervously.</p><p>With a soft sigh, the assassin brought the side of his face next to Krieg's cheek and spoke close to his ear.</p><p>"Still you're filled with doubt / of the beauty inside you / But… it's all I feel," he versed sincerely.</p><p><em>Do… do you really mean that? </em>The sane side of Krieg wondered with emotion heavy on his voice. <em>No one has ever touched us this way since we became this… this thing. You have no idea how much I burn with self-loathing, but you... </em>He sighed, struggling with his inner strength<em> …you make me feel so wanted and it feels so damn good. I really want you to mean it.</em></p><p>The usually loud psycho shared his own doubts almost softly, "Not a monster are we?"</p><p>Zer0 decided to lay off the poetry for a moment and gave it to him straight.</p><p>"I do not think so. By now, you must know we are a little more than just friends, Krieg. If I thought you an ugly mindless beast would I be this hard?" he demanded, grinding his noticeable arousal against him.</p><p>Zer0 pushed the front half of his body up hoping he was face to face with Krieg in the dark.</p><p>"Underneath this gruff exterior, I see a person and a vault hunter – not just a psychotic monster. It pains me that you think my opinion would change just because you took off that mask. To me, it is the most exciting thing you've ever done – next to watching you smash the bad guys to bloody bits." He couldn't help himself and said, "Such spectacles of / Courage and violence make me / Warm and fuzzy, Krieg."</p><p><em>Touché.</em> The little man replied wincing from the reproach in the assassin's voice. He breathed out a long sigh. <em>You're right, Zer0. And here you are just as maskless as we are and we're the one getting all bent out of shape. We deserved that.</em></p><p>Bringing his large hands up to hold Zer0's smooth, slender face, Krieg gazed into those heated iridescent eyes that seemed to glow a little brighter when he was angry.</p><p>"Prettty…" he growled softly.</p><p>"My dearest psycho / My desire for you is / Not so innocent..."</p><p>
  <em>Neither is ours.</em>
</p><p>Krieg pulled Zer0 down to him, kissing him with fresh vigour, fingers threading through his silken hair. That small airing of grievances was just what he needed. It was exhilarating but also empowering.</p><p>With this newfound faith, Krieg was like a steaming kettle, boiling over with longing.</p><p>He lowered one arm, wrapping it tightly around Zer0's middle, and used his superior upper strength to roll them over. All while holding the assassin close to him.</p><p>Not once during the entire maneuver did his lips leave Zer0's mouth.</p><p>Krieg braced himself over top, careful not to put all his weight down, straddling the assassin with his arms around his shoulders.</p><p>When Zer0 moaned into his mouth, he kissed him with passionate fever and rolled his hips. Grinding their cocks together until the man beneath him whimpered in exquisite agony.</p><p>Compared to him, Zer0 felt delicate, the man was all limbs being so damned tall. His wiry lean body was rippling with tight flexible muscle. However, Krieg knew that these features did not define Zer0 as a delicate person. That was like saying the surface of the sun wasn't hot. The man was a powerhouse in his own right and used his agile figure to outwit his enemies and perform some dazzling bloody butchery – something that Krieg <em>especially</em> admired about him.</p><p>Perhaps Zer0 was on to something, maybe opposites did attract, especially when it came to their physical qualities. Yet, when it came to their insatiable appetite for fighting or sex, it was as mutual as a lit match was to a stick of dynamite.</p><p>Smirking at his fervent thoughts Krieg chortled nefariously as he parted from Zer0's mouth and nuzzled his nose into the warm crook of his neck growling, "Boom…"</p><p>Krieg's burrowing and breath venting over his skin made Zer0 tremble. His remark made him grin.</p><p>Mashing his lips against the underside of his jaw, Krieg purred when the assassin lifted his chin higher, stretching out his neck, giving him better access. He laid sensual siege on Zer0's throat sucking and running his hot tongue over succulent sweet skin with villainous glee.</p><p>"<em>Sooo good…</em>" the assassin moaned out, hands clinging to Krieg's waist.</p><p>The psycho wanted to return the favour. "My turn to devour you… spleen and all!"</p><p><em>Yes. Yes. Zer0 is always lavishing attention on us. Let's make him squirm until he can't stand it anymore… </em>the inside voice rallied in his skull. <em>Don't forget the ears. Last time, in the Outwash, he told us that it was his 'one true weakness', remember?</em></p><p>Oh, ho, ho… that's right. Rendering the assassin into a mindless heap of naughty ninja sounded very enticing, Krieg decided.</p><p>"What lucky dogs we are!" he clamoured at the small man.</p><p>Used to Krieg's outbursts, Zer0 was not quite sure if he was speaking to him, too busy revelling in the way the man was ravaging his neck. "Y… you talking to me?" he breathed out. However, Krieg just gave him a dismissive grunt and lightly shook his head against his shoulder.</p><p>Seems the words he spoke were not for him, Zer0 realized.</p><p>He teased. "I see. Are you two / About to gang up on me? / Ooh… I sure hope so."</p><p>Krieg found himself grinning against Zer0's throat. Sometimes, the assassin said the naughtiest things. Well, he had something naughty for him, too. "Welcome to the threesome barbecue. We're serving you a steak… <em>raaaare</em>."</p><p>"Hmm… fun." Zer0 mused.</p><p><em>Whoa. That was kinda hot in a… weird sort of way. </em>Nevertheless, the little man would take it!</p><p>Just then, Krieg's tongue wriggled into Zer0's ear. It shot a jolt of pleasure straight to his cock, making him swoon and ache. He lost all will for coherent speech and thought, reduced to a sagging pile of bones in a heartbeat.</p><p>Between parted lips, Zer0 let out the deepest throaty moan.</p><p>It was music to Krieg's ears.</p><p>Zer0's eyelids fluttered as waves of pleasure coursed over his entire body. The mix of Krieg's purring and hot mouthing, teeth tugging on his left ear lobe, and tongue probing was a sensational, breathtaking treat.</p><p>Then, the man switched and did the same thing to his other ear.</p><p>"Oh, shit...." This was his undoing. It aroused him so much that if Krieg kept this up, he was going to come.</p><p>But, Krieg had it all figured out.</p><p>Once he sensed that Zer0 was getting close to climax, he carefully began to retreat, crawling down over his body. Along the way, he left a blazing trail of delicate bite marks and kisses on Zer0's chest, hands smoothing over soft skin as he went. With a sneaky grin, he continued lower, grazing over the hard ridges of the assassin's abdomen until he found the area he was looking for.</p><p>Without mercy, he nosed between Zer0's legs like a wild animal, before he washed the flat of his tongue over his swollen cock, from base to tip.</p><p>The assassin mewled out, "Oh, fuck yes…"</p><p>Kneeling between his thighs, Krieg slid the entire length into this sweltering mouth, swallowing every meaty inch.</p><p>Zer0 was sufficiently equipped but his gag reflexes were abnormally skilled.</p><p>Krieg heard the assassin cussing with pleasure. It only spurred him on and he went down on him with reckless abandon.</p><p>Zer0 moaned and sighed, clawing at the mattress underneath him. It has been <em>so</em> long since anyone sucked his dick and it felt <em>so</em> freaking good. Now, he only wished he could see it in action. Watch his cock disappear in and out of Krieg's mouth – see those lips wrapped around him so intimately. He listened to the juicy throat-plunging sounds mingling with the fast tempo of the music coming from the radio.</p><p>"Yes! Suck it," he hissed.</p><p>The psycho held nothing back. He sucked it all right, sucked it long and hard, deep-throating him until Zer0's groans became broken and spasmodic. All the while, his tongue swirled and his teeth grazed wickedly over his flesh.</p><p>The assassin sounded as if he was in pain, the glorious kind, and Krieg knew he was about to come. He could taste cloying fluids staining the back of his throat.</p><p>As soon as Zer0 began to suck air through clenched teeth, he pulled up and began pumping him with a fist while sucking the spongy tip.</p><p>Krieg wanted to taste him.</p><p>With a shaky rapturous groan, Zer0 came hotly all over his waiting tongue and he swallowed every bittersweet drop.</p><p><em>Hot damn! I never get tired of listening to that. You sound so beautiful when you come, Zer0…</em> and the psycho bet he looked beautiful right now, too. He slid the assassin's cock out of his mouth with a <em>pop</em>, and let it slap against his abdomen.</p><p>He crawled back over him.</p><p>Fishing underneath the mattress, Krieg's fingers searched for the lubrication he knew Zer0 hid here. It was somewhere near the top, but in the dark, it took a few extra sweeps of his hand to find the stuff.</p><p>"Mmm…" the assassin sounded, knowing what his bed partner was getting up to next, languishing over the orgasm still simmering beneath the surface.</p><p>It would seem that Krieg was hell-bent on driving him to blissful ruin, much to his delight.</p><p>When Krieg found it, he sidled along Zer0's side draping one leg casually over his and an elbow over his arm. Krieg felt Zer0's fingers at his back, tickling his shoulder blade as he wet a couple of fingers liberally and chucked the bottle aside.</p><p>Wasting no time, he reached down between Zer0's thighs and stuffed a slick finger inside of him. He twittered deeply when the assassin bucked in response, fucking his finger, feeding it deeper, so eager for more.</p><p>In the pitch-black, they kissed, while Krieg prepared him for just that.</p><p>On Krieg's tongue, Zer0 could taste his flavour. A delicious musky reminder of that wicked blowjob Krieg treated him to with such astounding skill.</p><p>Teeming with endless amounts of stamina, the lazy post-orgasm fog that most guys felt never lasted that long for him or for Krieg, he noticed. The fire in his belly started to burn once more.</p><p>They could go at it for hours.</p><p>Zer0 felt Krieg's hard length pressed up against his hip, felt its heat. He smiled against the man's lips and mumbled between their joined mouths, "Let me ride that dick…"</p><p>Um… err… <em>Oh gawd,</em> <em>yes!</em></p><p>The request rendered the psycho dumbstruck.</p><p>As the assassin pushed him back against the bedding, it had him nearly on the edge of it. One leg met up with the cold floor. His foot nicked a discarded belt buckle. But, Krieg didn't care. All he knew was that Zer0 was climbing on top of him, with his knees on either side of his torso, easing himself slowly onto his cock.</p><p>Both Kriegs moaned out simultaneously.</p><p><em>Damn it, I'm almost regretting not keeping the lights on so I can see this!</em> The voice bemoaned.</p><p>With one knee on the floor and the other on the bed, the bottoms of Zer0's feet were secure under Krieg's thighs and hands plastered to his chest. He began to rock back and forth on Krieg's stout fleshy cock that stretched him open with every lip-biting plunge.</p><p>Not even engaged in sex stopped Zer0 from creating a naughty haiku. "I must profess Krieg / Hands down your cock is the best / I have ever fucked."</p><p><em>I'm jealous… just how many dicks have you fucked, Zer0? Shit – sorry – that's none of my business. Really… you think ours is the best. Aww shucks. Well, just so you know, you're the hottest piece of ass I've had in like forever, so… yeah. </em>The small man laughed.<em> Hey, did you know you were the meathead's first? Now you've turned him into a sex-crazed maniac. I kinda like him like this.</em></p><p>Krieg threw his head back and groaned as Zer0 rode him.</p><p>The assassin let it all go, answering his need to rut and grind, even rolling his hips to create more friction. He wanted to give Krieg the same wild pleasure he felt.</p><p>However, lovemaking was as greedy as it was giving.</p><p>Krieg could not just lay there and do nothing. He put out just as much vigour, meeting Zer0 halfway. He started to thrust up as Zer0 came down bouncing his tush off the tops of his thighs in perfect rhythm.</p><p>For a while, that was enough. Until Krieg wanted more, feeling the urge to break Zer0 and smash him like fine china, make him scream with pleasure.</p><p>Bringing his knees up and digging in his heels, he thrust up into Zer0 hard, causing him to lurch forward so that he lost balance and his chest slammed against him. Then he grabbed him by the hips, fingers gripped into the tops of his ass, and pummelled up into him brutally.  </p><p>Zer0 cried out.</p><p>Krieg needed to rut and grind, too. He kept sheathing his dick in that slick heated sleeve, in and out, fast and fluid, relishing the sounds Zer0 was making as he did so. Yet, he also wanted to get Zer0 off again, feel the pulse of his ejaculating cock while he was still stuffed inside of him.</p><p>And, by the feel of the assassin's re-hardening length pressed against his belly, he was getting there.</p><p>Really wanting to drive his cock home, Krieg knew he had to change positions.</p><p>With a grunt, he sat up and repositioned them to the center of the bed, laying Zer0 back down with his dick still buried inside him, and took him missionary.</p><p>"Poundtown!" he roared.</p><p>Zer0 could not help but laugh and moan at the same time while Krieg did exactly that – he pounded into him, just the way he liked it.</p><p>Clinging to each other, Zer0 interlocked his long legs around Krieg's waist, kissing and fucking in total darkness. Sweat began to percolate between them and dampen their skin, their puffing breath changing over to panting.</p><p>Fast steady thrusts, Zer0 revelled in every squelching glide of Krieg's deep thrusting cock. It strummed over his sweet spot savagely, building wave after wave of pure madness.</p><p>Breathing too hard for kissing, Krieg buried his face into Zer0's shoulder and just fucked him. It felt so good he thought he might drown in pleasure. The intimacy this kind of position brought him, their bodies writhing together in a hot sweaty mess was everything he wanted.</p><p><em>"Krieg…"</em> Zer0 pleaded. "Harder."</p><p>Krieg smiled against the assassin's ear and rumbled heatedly. When Zer0 moaned his name out like that, it made him crazy – in a good way.</p><p><em>You want it. </em>The voice teased.<em> Now you're gonna get it!</em></p><p>Zer0 felt Krieg push the front of his body up, hands planted and rustling beside his head. He unlocked his legs from around the man's waist and pulled his knees in, holding them apart with his hands while Krieg just <em>drilled</em> into him.</p><p>"F-fuck!" the assassin stammered and swore.</p><p>Krieg was spanking his ass with his hips as he hammered him hard like he was trying to fuck him into the mattress. With every balls-deep thrust, pleasure radiated from the inside out, over every inch of his body.</p><p>Zer0 grit his teeth as Krieg gave him the best dicking of his life. He tried to bite it back but he cried out again, louder than before.</p><p>"Yesss!" the psycho growled, "Scream for me!"</p><p>He was not stopping until he fucked the assassin good and raw until he brought the man to another climax.</p><p>Trembling with ecstasy as another orgasm started to build inside of him, Zer0 relished in just how powerless he felt. It felt so good to let go of control just for a little while. He did not see it as a sign of weakness. Together they made each other whole, made each other stronger, and there was nothing weak about that.</p><p>He was at Krieg's mercy, a slave to his cock, and he loved every fucking second of it.</p><p>The wildfire was coming. It rushed along his chest, up to his neck, numbing his face. His toes curled.</p><p>Zer0 whimpered and moaned.</p><p>"I'm coming…"</p><p>The assassin pressed his head back into the mattress as a gut-wrenching orgasm tore out of him, pumping hot seed all over his stomach.</p><p>Finally, Krieg could empty his mind. He could let go, too.</p><p>The orgasmic pressure throbbing against his cock as Zer0 came, destroyed him. He pulled out of the assassin in a hurry and stroked himself furiously against his ass, shooting hot jets of cum where ever it may land in the dark.</p><p>When it was all over, neither of them moved… basking in the soporific glow of a pleasure overdose.</p><p>"Oh, man…" Zer0 breathed out. "That was –"</p><p>"– a tasty explosion of meat and fingernails!" Krieg said in an exaggerated snarl and a laugh, finishing Zer0's sentence. He sat back on his haunches and caught his breath.</p><p>"Ha-ha, all of the above." The assassin sighed with contentment</p><p>As Zer0 regained his senses, he felt the sensation of nasty spunk cooling all over him. With a soft, "tch" he groped around blindly and found his shirt nearby. He used it to wipe up the mess even though he could have gotten a towel or some tissue.</p><p>But, that would require fumbling around in the dark or turning the light back on, and… he didn't want to turn it on again just yet.</p><p>He heard Krieg shuffling around on the bed. With an outstretched hand, he reached around to find his bare legs close by – he was lying down. Perfect.</p><p>"Come here…" Krieg requested in a surprisingly normal tone.</p><p>Sufficiently cleaned up, Zer0 smiled softly to himself and crawled over, sidling up against the huge psycho. Krieg wrapped an arm around him as he laid his head on his chest, his naked body pressed against the man's hip. He dropped a bent leg over the top of both of Krieg's legs.</p><p>Nope. Definitely not in a hurry to turn the lights on.</p><p>This post-intercourse snuggling was starting to grow on him, Zer0 thought. He sighed. It was so peaceful that it almost felt violent. It was just nice… not to be alone.</p><p>To Krieg, those content-sounding sighs Zer0 was making equaled a job well done.</p><p>He felt pretty darn good about that right about now.</p><p>
  <strong>*****</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I feel pretty darn good about that right about now. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Look at this. The two of us curled up together, cooling off after that amazing fuck, masks forgotten, just vibing," I murmured, holding Zer0 close. "Could have been like this so many times earlier if the big guy and myself weren't so scared to take that thing off. Seriously. Thanks, man… for liking us, for us."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It fills me with hope, that one day I will escape this hell and be able to thank Zer0 personally.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But, for now…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Let's just keep doing this for a bit longer..." We brushed a hand over the assassin's hair as we held him. I felt him shift his head ever so slightly. I craned my head to spot those gorgeous eyes staring at us in the dark. It's all I can see… just those extraordinary eyes and I wondered what was going through his mind.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You know… " I started to say, petting a hand across his face, gently thumbing over the crest of his cheek just beneath that pretty eye, feeling the scar he showed us earlier, "…if you keep staring at us like that, we're going to have to ruin you all over again."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Both the maniac and I laughed. We sounded so devious and he growled out in his oh-so delightful way...</em>
</p><p>"Beware. The blood is starting to boil…"</p><p>
  <em>Those eyes looked away and I rest my head back against the pillow. I felt Zer0 smile against my chest. He started to draw lazy circles on our stomach with those three slim fingers of his.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ack! It tickled and we twitched and snorted in such a pitiful way. But, I loved it all the same.</em>
</p><p>The assassin shook with a soft laugh and stilled his fingers. "Letting you go and / Not kissing again like fools / Would be such a crime," he replied.</p><p>
  <em>And, there it is. It's like Zer0 is hearing me through the big guy's words, seeing the bigger picture. It amazes me every time. "Dude, kissing you is the next best thing since breakfast. We are not going anywhere." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I know he can't hear me, but I feel like I'm still reaching him somehow by saying it. I don't care how much it annoys the other guy. He can't shut me up that easily.</em>
</p><p>"But first… I promised you a story," Zer0 said and added thoughtfully, "And someday I look forward to hearing yours, Krieg. It does not matter how long it takes you to figure out how to tell it. I'll wait."</p><p>
  <em>Damn. "You got it, friend."</em>
</p><p>"Are you ready?"</p><p>"Spin the yarn. Grind the words between your teeth!"</p><p>
  <em>"For you, we're always ready."</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As always, I hope this story left you with something yummy to dream about! I still have ideas for more stories XD! Zer0 and Krieg are just too precious - they have kept me sane this year. Everyone be safe and stay healthy!</p><p>Thank you for reading! Until next time.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>